1. The number one defines me, as an “only child”. Which has certainly defined my character, especially as my parents have fallen away from my life.
2. Deep introspection evokes my creative flow. Being an introvert allows me to grasp this wave and ride it.
3. Beyond the comfort of myself, I do crave connection. While my child would love to fuse with the world, I am fulfilled by my soul-mate and our fusion of family.
4. & so family means the world to me. Not in the traditional sense- as I have no relation with my parents. Blood is only skin deep. Our souls in connection is the source of what I see as the true familial bond, beyond the physical realm & into infinity.
5. Life is a lesson. Through all experiences I have gained more to draw from. The “bigger picture” is seeing beyond, and down into the depths. Acknowledging my emotions, firstly. & then seeking the multitude of possibilities, whilst transitioning with the outcomes. Allowing my perception to constantly change, aligning with my life as it unravels– not holding myself to what is “suppose to be”, but growing alongside the developments.
, maybe I’m programmed, or the chemicals in my brain dynamically feeding into these notions that send me forth. No matter the definition, my will has been the way. As I have seen many a door and window, choosing which I WILL walk through– and on and on.
7. Speaking of “guiding light”. My name, Jacqueline, means “Guardian of Light”.
8. The irony is those of superstitious mentality, would cackle at such a definition- as I was born on Friday the 13th. I have, however, experienced the balanced power in this date with destiny.
9. I am most often misunderstood. I have often been referred to as “unique” and “mysterious”.
10. My Mother has both insight and insanity. Though she has given me much of my inner faith. The idea of intuition, and reinforcement of this practice. The knowledge and inadvertent guidance towards my belief of personal existence. Her insanity stems from the inability to live by her own strength, instead sabotaging herself for the twisted sense of self-pity.
11. My Father has humor and a hole in his heart. My foolish antics certainly stem from him. To act a fool, as a tool for the high of laughter- firstly for thyself, and others alike. Though he continues to fall through the hole in his heart- leading him on a loveless journey, into the depths of loneliness, sickness, and despair. If he could harness this hole as an opening, the love would come pouring in, and flowing out.
12. These parents of mine have certainly impacted my being. They have given me a great deal to consider and expand upon. I don’t really see them as my parents these days- outside of blood relation. Rather, they are my creators. I have grown from them, and beyond them.
13. Born November, Friday the 13th. My Mother would tell me I was, “Born on a Lucky Star”– attempting to counteract the negative notions my peers would place on me for such a birthdate. Though she has little-to-no knowledge of the Zodiac, I came to find she wasn’t far off. At the heart of the Scorpio constellation lies a star, Antares. The 15th brightest star in our sky, and second largest.
“From an embracing transcendent perspective, Antares is the administrate seat directing the education of the incarnate souls regarding application of raw creative power. Antares oversees and stimulates the use of raw creative forces and use of power so that we can learn what is required for our true incarnational freedom and to become responsible creators of it.” - Nick Anthony Fiorenza, The Lunar Planner
14. I once had an interest in Astronomy- but found it lacked a certain sense of spirit. Astrology bears the balance I desire. With that being said, I just spent a 1/2 hour reading on the different cultural-astrological views of Antares– and have momentarily lost the muse in writing this random self-explanatory bit.
15. Which is why I heavily agree with Einstein’s quote, “Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.”
16. Quotes are the majority of the reading material I seek. Bits of wisdom and thought, from various folk, during various times. It is assuring to see the synchronicity between our being, and wonderful to see the different context in which all can be described.
17….Reminds me of our daughter, Krislynn Night. As she was born on 1/17/2007. A date we’d projected for her birth, but never held onto it with desperate desire. So on the morning of, breaking my water at 7AM, I was in some state of disbelief. Her timing was so perfect, so “planned”, yet unexpected. So I rode out the experience, neither resisting nor forcing– just being. The most empowering and spiritual experiences of my life. At home, all natural– with the presence of some lovely people, and the balance of nothing going as “planned”. It was a state of ecstasy, which I attribute to my willingness to experience such with the light of soul- instead of the gravitation of body.
18. My writing style is quite explanatory/lengthy. People encourage me to write a book– One day… one day. For now, I’m in experience- not so much of documentation.
19. At this point, I am very hungry. It is 4:05AM, and I am a pregnant Mom-Goose. Because of this need for nourishment, I am certainly out of the frame of mind to be very insightful.
20. Our midwife is a blessing. She was present for Krislynn’s birth. In her presence she shares courage and compassion. Which reminds me, I need to call her to let her know of our move.
21. Yes, indeed– we have vacated 4th&4th. A much needed transition, which brings me and my Family peace. I am thankful for the experiences, highlights, and upsets in the 1 year + 4 months we were present, pursuing the grandest part of our all encompassing dream. What is aligning at this time is the need for everyone to be personally fulfilled, not communally aligned. For us, moving on is a transitional advancement in our approach. To “GlowitheFlow”.
22. The three of us have been much happier with this change. Our moments are again shared, instead of objectively ruled. With the coming of our 4th addition, all is synchronous in the succession of life. It has been interesting, the people who have become apart of our lives as of late– Family certainly seems to be the theme of our year.
23…Christopher’s favorite number. He is a great part of my expanded self. Knowing him, being with him is what I longed for as a child- and knew to be in time. We are complete opposites in the Zodiac: Taurus/Scorpio. The way we see it, we are cosmically so far apart, yet back-to-back… all we had to do was turn around, and there stands the other. Our life together seems eternal in experiences, even though the measure in time is short lived. Our bond is certainly beyond this reality.
24. This child in my womb is incredibly active. As I’ve said, “Krislynn was a stretcher, this one is a swimmer.” It will be fun to see who pops out next month. Khronus Infinidee, or Kyrie Sol. Some have had dreams, most everyone projects a boy. Though I have no expectations, just the patience to know when the time is right– boy or girl, what a wonder they will be to know.
25. I enjoy this time in life. Everything that has lead up to this point chronicles the progression of this story-like unfolding of life. It is all meant to be, because I let it be- as I am choosing to be, coming into me.
