As life goes, I can be an angry soul.

In my youth: strongly opinionated.
Moving on: I have learned to bite my tongue… I have also seen the hypocrisy in doing such a thing, when I have sworn off the notions of self-mutilation. Life is full of lessons, and some are fainter to the consciousness.

Luckily, I analyze myself as much as others. I am not blind to my actions, or their repercussions.
I know my words to be powerful.

Now, unless my life or that of a loved one is threatened, I push straight along. Because confrontation isn’t my most exhilarating action. It can really heal the underlying debts on ones emotions. As a day-to-day occurrence, I am a pacifist.

Suppose it’s because my sights moved onto bigger battles. As my GrandFather would say, “Pick and choose your battles.” So I have heard, and learned.

Though, I don’t wish to die of a stress related dis-ease. Like the rest of the populace, I am constantly straining to uphold a level state of mind, body and soul. One could call it depression. I refrain from such terms, as I find them demeaning to the power we all hold. Come at me with a pill, and I’ll come at you with a claw. Mind over matter, solves that just fine!

No more am I strict on myself, than I am on others. “The Golden Rule” was my basis for belief, growing up as a child. Though, that is my issue. Expectations fall short of satisfactory. So I have led a slightly resentful life, towards the actions of others. Unconditional love was not a practice of my parents. They have taught me strength in self, without having much themselves.

Through this, I have held on to many mixed emotions. Since I am such an emotional being, this has surely taken its toll.

I await the day, that I have the courage in me to sing again. My power may be in my harmony, but my message would need to be as strong. Traveling through strife, I have become meeker in speech…

My most vivid lucid dreams, are not of me flying. I cannot recollect such a feat. Though I sing, as confidently as can be…

The complexities of People.

There is no question, the perspective I have of this world is broken. Ever since I can remember, there has been turbulence. Raised without religion, but with constant awareness of the reality surrounding me.

Though my Mother would attempt to shelter my eyes with, “Oh, it’s all just a bunch of monkey business.” She wanted to protect me, but as she says now, “It was all out of my control”. With that attitude in hand, she was the one to break my child-like barriers with reality. Adulthood hit me by the age of nine.

My cousin Greg was sent to Desert Storm in the early 90’s. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting room, while my Mother was ill, and my Father dropped the paper in my lap. He pointed to the front page photograph saying, “That’s where your cousin is”.

Thanks to the media, I was informed from the start. My parents refused to let me watch “The Simpson’s”, and I was sheltered from major pop-culture. I grew up on musicals, and my musical idol was once Barbra Streisand. I was a merry young child, despite the way the world was shown to me. Because I sat through the O.J. Simpson car chase, and the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombings. Those two loony parents of mine, wanted me to see the world for what it IS. Not how the media covers it over with entertainment.

By the time my Mother “lost herself”, my love for knowledge, no matter the context, had surpassed my schooling sources. Since I had the privilege of nearly two years at a Montessori, my mind expanded. Public schools could not suffice my craving for history, first and foremost. Upon entering high school, without a history course, but rather an inadequate “technology” course… I decided ditching class was more worth my while.

Jumping to college by 16, I had already lost my will to achieve within the system. Unlike most, entering college without a direction, I knew journalism was my calling. Writing was my passion, and my strength. I didn’t expect to make a living off of my creative writings. So, I saw the more sensible path in making myself a position within the media, in which I could interpret my perspectives. It seemed to satisfy my desires at the time.

Trouble is, one can never bury their burning passions. I was completely aware of this. Since Freshman year of high school, I had encountered a “writer’s block”. My life felt unfulfilled, and rather stagnant. While everyone else was looking to me with pride, and awe. I was simply unamused, for I knew that train would wreck. So I opened my eyes for another course in life, that would allow me to experience the fullest.

So, here I sit. Year of 2008. I will be twenty-one following the U.S. elections, in less than a month. Legally able to drink, with no inclination to. This head thinks too loudly for me to escape it.

You may know where I sit, but where do I stand!?

This world has, no doubt, intrigued me. People have shown me their true colors. So I have conditioned myself to their actions.

We are all an evolving imitation of what was. There we stem, and look to grow from. While our intellect and communication has leaped and bounded. The soul purpose of our existence is left tarnished.

If there is one fear I combat in my life, it is the possibility of insanity. That is as horrid as the black plague, or a fit of zombies. For death and I have danced, and I have led the tango. Where I had the will to step out, I found the fulfillment of staying in. There is no worth in wasting a chance on this world, without putting your will into the legacy.

As of now, I am watching my parents’ legacy live out. They had their time, and have nearly brought the world to a hurling halt. Just under my surface, is a deep resentment towards the Baby-Boomer generation. For they fought selfishly for their own rights, only to lay back and let the world unravel as their children come into being.

When we reach the age, where the Fathers and Mothers of society have forgotten the value of life… We will surely be shown, with a whiplash, the effects of a world in transition.

Now that we are rising to the forefront, they are clinging on for control, or throwing in their feeble attempts at rising consciousness.

The fact has always been, for me, that my generation of “youngster’s” are the only hope. We live in an age where a child’s energy is so fierce, that they attempt to tie us down with drugs. They are simply scared of our success. Or rather, scared of their failure.

“What you resist, persists.”

Looking to my future, a kaleidoscope serves my view. Plenty of possibilities, depending upon cluster-to-cluster. I would be a fool to predict anything. Reality is dependent on all perspectives. Though I know a disturbance is on the horizon. I can say that much. For change is innate, and we all seem fearful of fate. When fate is nothing more hopeless than our own falling to the wayside.

Renaissance.rEvolution.Rebirth

Those are the words I live by. I have the soul of a rebel, the mind of a crafter, and the heart of a healer. Constantly exercising these beliefs, I find my solitude.

What do you so passionately swear by in mind, heart and soul?

I most certainly cannot *make* everyone vote, let alone for a specific candidate. I have done what I can to challenge their differing perspectives, however.

As much as the world can depend upon the choices we all make as individuals, there is no changing the inevitable. We are sure to experience a dramatic change no matter the man in office. Their presence could lead to a multitude of possibilities, and reactions within the US and beyond.

This may sound pretty laid-back for Jackie, but “Live and let die”. Ebb and flow is what keeps our balance, in this hectic world. I look to secure the bond between those of us who view the world from a similar scope. So no matter what, there is an undeniable communal force that will lift us up beyond the choices of a leader.