My new year has already begun. I am now in the new age of 19. My birthday always leaves me winded with the realization of just how young I am, in comparison to how old I feel.

Time, for me, still has that same aspect it has for years: seeming so short, yet feeling so long in the quantity of life that’s been lived within a short span. With that perspective still in tact, strangely I have this stagnant feeling.

Waiting for a child to arrive in your world for nearly 8 months is a very dream-like state to live in. The fetal movements, and recent consistent enlargement of my belly reminds me that this is all a work in progress. I’m patiently awaiting the day. Though it draws nearer more so now than ever, I’ve waited so long, leaving me in a sort of disbelief that it will actually occur.

I’m just taking a long stroll at sunset, enjoying the fall and winter weather, change of scenery and my companion’s company. Every moment is being experienced through slow-motion: my mind is keeping me in a slight stand-still for the memory of today, instead of the wanting of tomorrow.