Yesterday evening, as I was lying in my reclining chair at the computer, the little baby shifted all the way to the right side of my uterus. My tummy was completely soft and mushy on the left side, and hard as a rock with a baby-head-bulge on the right side. These movements feel like a constant roller coaster ride, although different, but that’s the most similar relation I can find.

I had just read the other day, now nearing my 7th month, that I’d be able to see my stomach mold to the baby’s shifting now that it’s grown tighter in with my uterus.

It’s just odd how much of the pregnancy experience has been left a mystery to the world. Unless, of course, you seek out the information and stories. I’ve never seen pregnancy depicted vividly in our culture, through movies, TV shows or any other mass media. The only way I could possibly help you to comprehend what it’s like to see a child move in this manner, within the range of my womb, is to relate it to an odd sci-fi film. You know, the ones where a human woman gets impregnated by an alien, the alien baby grows super quick and starts to push it’s limbs out of the woman’s stomach with those gross fluidy-moving sounds accompanying the clip. I guess they had to get the idea of that sort of thing from somewhere. Somewhere being the all normal and all natural human pregnancy… Nothing alien about it!

Really though, there isn’t a thing comparable to experiencing pregnancy. Your parents can teach you of the “birds and the bees” when you want to know, “Where do babies come from?”, but the reality of the truth won’t come until you’re living it.

Still, I feel like I’m living an incredible dream.

A week ago Christopher, (his three sisters) Colissa, Becca, Ashley, (their Mom) Mary, and myself returned home to Tucson. We were gone for three days to LaVerkin, Utah, Mary’s hometown, for her Father’s funeral.

I never did meet Lloyd Howard, but I’d heard stories of him over time. Nothing I’d heard compared to the Eulogy given about him by his son Richard. When their Mother Helen had passed 12 years earlier, Richard took it upon himself to go through all of her journal entries. It being less than a week after Lloyd passed, Richard had already taken up the same task with his Father’s journals. The combination of his parents’ written past made a touching tribute, along with one of the last conversations he ever had with his Father, in which he confessed many a lesson learned in his time and the things he left unsaid to some.

The impression I had been given by a few in Christopher’s family, was that Lloyd was a strictly religious man, often judgemental and very stubborn. This was all told to me prior to his passing. Sitting in the church, hearing Richard’s Eulogy, everything I’d learned of Lloyd before passed right out of me. He had told Richard that he felt Helen’s passing was due to her reaching perfection in this life, and that in her passing he realized how much more he could’ve appreciated her while on this Earth. Lloyd felt that it was for that reason he had outlived his beloved wife, who’d helped him to find “heaven on Earth”. For that I cried.

Christopher never got to say goodbye, or more importantly to him he didn’t get tell of our upcoming child. But he says that he knows this is all for a reason, and he is simply happy that his Grandpa Howard is finally with his “sweetheart” again. To live without someone you love so deeply is a heavy task to handle; we both know that, although not first-hand, but in our hearts.

No matter the reality of it, due to that little thing called love, I feel that I have a personal connection with these two people I’ve never met. An experience to remember: another’s memories to cherish and live a richer life from.