It’s Nice to See…
I’m not a materialistic type. Although, I do have
possessions I’d love to hang on to. But I have done without any homely
objects, even recently, and can in the future. I honestly do miss some
simple objects, but mainly for their sentimental value.
But besides the point of defense, I was noticing the power of positivity right
now.
The last few weeks, I had been feeling very negative. I honestly felt
that I wanted to mutilate myself again, and that was burning in me
strongly. I was feeling lots of self hate, guilt, hurt and anger. That
was the first time in a little over a year that I had dealt with any negative
emotion that strong. Strong enough for me to literally feel the tension
of fury in the veins of my arms, pulling me to do something cruel. If it sounds intense and dramatic, it is because it was.
I was sitting here now, recovered from my bought, just simply looking at my
engagement ring. The positive perspective I now hold, in comparison to
the weeks before, makes this ring look so big and full of sparkle.
I remember it looking so dim and small to me when I was “in my head“
and down.
Seeing that small comparison now enforces my beliefs of keeping a positive
perspective. There is a noticeable difference. It makes me laugh to
see, because it’s all so simple if you do see.
